Date women from United States / California / Orange, 30 year old

Date a soulmate from California, United States. Me: Professional Sassypants. I like unicorns and raptors, ideally together. I believe in magic and art. I'm usually either laughing or singing, or both. I wish life was a musical. If you are smart and funny you are automatically my best friend. This initial blurb was sort of a litmus test, to see who responded and how. Though it is very telling about who I am as a person, the responses have ranged from ridiculous to hilarious. Read on!
I'm looking for a whipsmart, funny, and quick fella who can keep up with me. I like witty banter, anyone who can actually and truly make me belly laugh will win me over almost immediately. Nothing is sexier than intelligence, creativity, humor, levity, insouciance and kindness.
Nothing makes me happier than making other people smile. Can you tell I'm an optimist? People fascinate me. I love talking to people, observing them, interacting with them. Everyone has a story, and I usually want to hear it. I'm always conducting my own "social studies". I like collecting people's stories, like my own little treasure trove.
I am an artist and anything and everything that can be considered artistic, beautiful, aesthetic, or creative absolutely makes my world go 'round. I live life with gusto and passion, I make an everyday trip to Walmart a fantastical experience. I strive to surround myself with others who are passionate as well. To tell you the truth, I have a difficult time with people who are hard pressed to get excited about things in life. I get excited about something as simple as a sandwich. If I get a really good sandwich I will exclaim my delight aloud, making appreciative ( and possibly embarrassing) sounds whilst consuming it. I get chills when listening to good music, and sometimes my breath catches. I basically look for the fun in life, and if it's not there it's my goal to make it so.
I'm sassy, occasionally bossy and have no trouble speaking my mind, but I also respect other people's viewpoints. I'm smart and classy and like vintage things. I like: reading, being silly, movies, music, acting, singing, playing my ukulele, theatre, driving, writing, learning, finding beautiful and unusual spots to eat (or to explore), adventure, bending the rules, or at least being so charming that nobody minds when I try to break them. Guys that are classy, charismatic, know how to dress and treat a lady are tops. If you are anything like Clark Gable you might be perfect for me. But wait! You don't have to be a matinee idol to get with this! If you are a goofball comedian your chances are just as good! I like guys who have their stuff together and have goals and know what they want out of life. I also like guys who aren't afraid to make themselves look silly or stupid for the sake of making me or others laugh. I literally have gone so far to try and make someone laugh to the point of unintentional injury. I call it my, "Youtube scar" (ask me about it later). Self deprecation is endearing.
I'm not into drugs or crazy drinking. If you consider those things hobbies or the only way to make life more bearable/enjoyable, you probably aren't the dude for me. Life is already trippy enough as it is.
Well, that's it for now. I'm sure I'll find more to blather on about later.